I’ve spent a lot of time talking to myself. Perhaps you have too?
I’ve tried to talk myself into confidence and wealth, and out of anxiety. It took me years to realise that hoping for something to come true did not work.
“I am successful. I am calm. I am in control. I am wealthy.”
Sometimes saying these things would actually make my stomach tighten and my pulse quicken. Instead of feeling confident, I’d feel like an imposter and a fraud.
Why is there such a disconnect? Why can’t we just tell ourselves to change?
Because the brain doesn’t understand our language.
The Pre-Verbal Brain
The problem isn’t willpower. The problem is a translation error.
The part of us that runs the show—our subconscious, our nervous system—is pre-verbal. It is ancient. It evolved long before we had even invented language.
It does not understand English, or French, or Spanish. It does not care about grammar or sentence structure.
Our subconscious only understands two things: Sensation and Imagery.
Let me spell it out like this: Language is the map, not the territory.
Words are tools, triggers. And yes, they are extremely powerful, but only when they evoke a picture or a feeling in the body.
If I say the word “Lemon,” your subconscious doesn’t analyze the letters L-E-M-O-N. It brings up an image of a yellow fruit, and perhaps a sharp, sour taste in your mouth. Your mouth might even be watering right now.
The word worked because it created a sensation.
But if I say “I am wealthy,” and my body immediately tightens up with the memory of a scary bank balance, the word has failed. The word said “wealth,” but the body felt “danger.”
You Cannot Lie to the Body
This is why “fake it ’til you make it” is such dangerous advice when it comes to making real, lasting changes.
It doesn’t matter what you say to yourself. It only matters what you believe. And belief isn’t an intellectual concept; belief is a biological state.
If your words are trying to drag you in one direction, but your sensations are dragging you in another, the sensations will win every single time. The body always wins.
So, How Do We Actually Change?
We have to stop trying to lawyer our way out of our problems. We have to stop engaging in intellectual debates with our own feelings.
If you want to communicate with your subconscious, you have to speak its language. You have to bypass the words and go straight to the image and the feeling.
Once the body feels it, the subconscious believes it.
And once the subconscious believes it, you won’t need to stand in front of a mirror trying to convince yourself of anything. You’ll just be it.
Do you want to experience a real fundamental shift in your life?
This is the root of the work I do: Guiding people to allow their thinking mind to fall back in love with their subconscious mind. I call it recentering, and it feels like coming home to yourself.
It’s the best place to live from. I love it when clients start speaking from this place and reconnecting with words such as Ease, Power, Grace, and Inspiration.
Use the button below to Book a free 30-minute consultation if you’d like to discuss how my coaching programmes could help you transform your life.
p.s here’s the image of me I used to create the featured image for this blog post 🙂